Domestic Violence
Domestic violence is emotional, physical, or sexual abuse, or the threat of such abuse. If you're a victim, you may be feeling confused, frightened, sad, angry, or ashamed. You are not alone. Sadly, what happened to you is very common. After it starts, domestic violence often doesn't go away without outside help. It also tends to get worse and more frequent over time.
There are people and resources available to help you. If you want to start talking about this problem, need a safe place to stay, or want legal advice, contact our staff. We can give you a referral or more information. Domestic violence is a crime. As a victim, you have legal rights. If the police have not yet been involved, think about calling the police for help. You can also get a court order that prohibits your partner from contacting you in any way. This includes in person or by phone. Contact a local domestic violence program or an attorney for more information.
Before you leave here
Decide whether it's safe to go back home. If you know that your life is in danger, tell our staff. We can call a local domestic violence shelter or help you arrange to stay with a friend or relative. Domestic violence shelters can help you deal with the safety of children and pets, housing, and finances.
When you get home
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Make an exit plan or a safety plan in advance. Know exactly where you could go even in the middle of the night.
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Pack an overnight bag in case you have to leave home in a hurry. Either hide it yourself or give it to a friend to keep for you. It should include:
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Toilet articles, medicines, an extra set of keys to the house and car, an extra set of clothing, and a special toy for each child.
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Extra cash, checks, or a savings account book.
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Important papers, such as social security cards, birth certificates, green cards, passports, work authorization, and any other immigration documents. Also pack medical cards, your driver's license, the title to the car, and proof of car insurance.
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If you ever feel your safety is in danger, get out of the home, even if you didn't have a chance to get these things packed.
Calling the police
When someone has injured you or violated a restraining order, a criminal stay-away order, or an emergency protective order, follow these steps:
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Call the police. Use 911 if it's an emergency. Tell them you are in danger and you need help right away. Tell them if you have a court order. If the police do not come quickly, call again and say, " This is my second call." Note the time and date of your call(s) and who you spoke with.
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When the police arrive, tell them what the attacker did. Describe your injuries, how you were injured, and whether weapons were used. Tell them if a restraining order was violated. Ask the police to file a report and give you a reporting number.
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If you don't already have a restraining order, ask the officer for an emergency protective order. This is an order that may protect you until you get a criminal stay-away order or restraining order.
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Always get the police officers' names and badge numbers. If you have trouble with a police officer, you can complain to the officer's supervisor.
Arrest
If the attacker is arrested and taken to the police station, they will probably be released with or without bail until the hearing. This may take a few hours. Use this time to get to a safe place. Ask that conditions of the attacker's release include that they cannot come near you.
No arrest
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If the police refuse to make an arrest, you may ask to make a private citizen's arrest. Tell the officers that you fear the attacker will come back and injure you if an arrest is not made.
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Call the District Attorney's office or the local police department about how to follow up with your complaint.
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For more information, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline (NDVH) at 800-799-SAFE (7233) or text START to 88788. Or visit their website at www.ndvh.org or www.thehotline.org. They provide free and confidential information 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. The goal of the NDVH is to make certain that you are safe before talking with you. Remember that your partner may monitor your computer or phone use. It's impossible to completely clear the history or delete sites you access or visit. If you think your computer or phone is monitored or checked, use a secure and different phone to call or text NDVH. Don't use a computer or your primary phone.